Raising Boys, and Attitude

Raising Boys (I HAD to post this one, it’s so true! Between my brothers, my sons and my sister’s twin boys I think we’ve covered these and more.) My comments in blue (BIG HUGS, Steph)

For those who have grown children – this is totally hysterical!

For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas: Things I’ve learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. (They thought the frame of the bed would hold the water and it would be an indoor swimming pool!)

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. (Haven’t had this one happen, but my youngest brother did find that rubbing alcohol ignites, and I have burn marks in my bathroom because of it.)

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. (OH this goes for boys and girls!)

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room. (My sister’s twins tried the first part… we won’t tell them about the paint, OK??)

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. (You tell me, does a ceiling fan look like a batting machine?)

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. (Yep, sis is always replacing windows because of the boys)

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it’s already too late. (My Mom lost many watches this way, and I got to be friends with a really nice plumber… yep hot wheels in the toilet again)

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. (OK another secret that MUST be kept)

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.  (Oh we won’t even go here, let’s just say the word "Pyro" is an oft used one)

10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.  (Yep, but the ones stuck up his nose will have to be removed by a Doctor!)

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. (The smell lasts forever)

12.) Super glue is forever. (Unless you really need it to work)

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water. (If we had, had a pool I’m sure they would have tried it.)


14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.(Go figure!)

15.) Vcrs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. (Yep, my son did this… they don’t eject GI Joe’s either)

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. (My brothers did this)

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. (No experience with this, thank goodness)

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. (This is soooooo true!)

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. (Always, always, you never know what you could find!)

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. (Sounds about right)

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. (Even if you have dirt in there with them)

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. (I don’t even want to think about this one. Their butts would be red!)

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. (Luckily none of my brothers or sons have ever hurt animals) (Lucky for them because I would have hurt THEM!)

24.)  80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. (Come on, we all know, once a boy always a boy! LOL)

 

********************************************

 

 

ATTITUDE (This one is for me cause my attitude has really stunk lately)

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I’ll braid my hair today!" So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M, " she said, "I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today!" So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

  The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head.

       "YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don’t have to do my hair today!"

                         Attitude is everything.

                            Have a Good Day!

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of Battle.

19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Harold
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 05:48:21

    lol …. GREAT post !!!!!
     
    Love ur humor😉
     
    H

    Reply

  2. bobby
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 07:26:01

    dear kitty,
         You always say something meaningful in a good way

    Reply

  3. Cheryl
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 09:12:03

    OMG….So funny and I loved the hair attitude one.  LMAO!

    Reply

  4. Leah
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 13:41:37

    i got the first one can\’t remember if I sent it to you? But loved the second one. Yes I know FLUIDS FLUIDS

    Reply

  5. Greg
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 14:49:33

    Your flowers are gorgeous!!!
     
    Go pamper yourself…You deserve it!!!

    Reply

  6. K.T.
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 16:12:01

    K:  Send me pics of the type of milk bottle you collect.
    Ive seen that waterbed thing many times, and its impossible. I\’m an ex accountant and woodworker, so I had to get out my caculator and tape measure to work on that waterbed  item.
    2000 sq ft at 4 inches deep = 1,152,000 cubic inches.
    My king water bed measures 80"x76" which is 6080 sq inches.
    1,152,000 divided by 6080 = 189 inches.  That means my waterbed mattress is almost 16 feet tall.  LOL

    Reply

  7. K.T.
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 16:13:22

    Kim claimed 2 of the red Wing items.  2 are left.

    Reply

  8. Bob
    Jun 05, 2006 @ 16:29:04

    Now see???  This is exactly why I have dogs!!  (Except for Bonnie who acts like a boy!!) 
     
    Funny, funny post!!  Had me laughing hard!!  (Brake fluid and bleach you say????)
     
    xoxo    Bob~

    Reply

  9. Jnutsaz
    Jun 06, 2006 @ 11:11:30

    Truthfully, I\’m glad I had only sons.  Daughters? Scary.

    Reply

  10. Gina
    Jun 06, 2006 @ 11:21:56

    thanks for my daily dose of birth control!!!!  this one will last for awhile. :o)

    Reply

  11. David
    Jun 06, 2006 @ 11:31:51

    I actually WAS thinking about the Clorox and brake fluid – and suspect if I had both in the house…   By the way, umbrellas also make poor parachutes and it was a girl in my college class who proved this – from an upper floor window, yet. 

    Reply

  12. Litespreader
    Jun 06, 2006 @ 12:25:37

    steph.. i just LOVE your cattitude!!  and i think boys are a riot, generally.
    as per your comment to me..  i know i\’m very fortunate to be living next to
    the ocean.  at night, i can open my window(in the month of \’winter\’ we have),
    and hear the waves.  it is awesome, and thank you for reminding me.  since
    i don\’t go out there during the heat of the day, i forget how wonderful it is
    sometimes.  i\’ll try to get some pics posted of it for you.  by the way, i love
    your flowers, too.  ;

    Reply

  13. EdgyKay
    Jun 07, 2006 @ 00:31:32

     
    Love, Love, LOVE the hair thing. As for the "raising boys" thing, well…I\’m LIVING that one, so I guess I\’ll find the humor later. Right now, it\’s all just either memory or prediction. Lose-lose!
     

    Reply

  14. Kat
    Jun 07, 2006 @ 06:37:53

    Hello just passing threw thought id leave a comment🙂 ..Kat
    P.s. i love the flowers and your kitty cats pictures🙂

    Reply

  15. Jess
    Jun 07, 2006 @ 06:59:42

    Oh good…now I know I\’m not the only one who would be happy about not doing my hair lol…somedays I tell ya…it\’s just too much !
     
    I\’m not male..but mixing silly things used to be a hobby of mine…I mean when I was a little kid…and I had bad influences lol.
     
    Happy Wednesday !
     
    Jess
    xoxo

    Reply

  16. Nooner™
    Jun 07, 2006 @ 17:55:21

    Steph!
     
    lol @ "I could have flares, fluorescent paint, and a bull horn and still no one listens" .. lol.
     
    When I read the brake fluid and clorox at #8, I thought I might try that one with the guys some day .. lol.  Then, I get to #24 .. lol.  Too funny!!
     
    Hey, where are the pics you are sending me for my colorful Photo Albums? .. lol
     
    ~Nooner~

    Reply

  17. BH
    Jun 07, 2006 @ 21:41:46

    My wife and I saw this a few weeks ago and died laughing.  We can relate to all of it with our two knuckleheads.
     
    I hope you\’re doing well.
     
    Cheers,
    BH

    Reply

  18. CJ
    Jun 09, 2006 @ 07:28:17

    I absolutely loved this blog!  I\’m glad I stopped by.  Needed an attitude change today and this was just the ticket.

    Reply

  19. Nooner™
    Jun 13, 2006 @ 01:16:40

    Steph,
     
    Your falling in love with me and Mrs Nooner you say? .. Fall in love with me first .. I need you more than she does .. lol.
     
    xo
    Nooner

    Reply

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