Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy??

Do they make cages for children? Will I get in trouble if I make one and use it? Hmmmm?
My grandson is here 5 days a week, day and night. I love him dearly but the boy is going to drive me to an early grave, or at the very least, a mental institution.
I got out of the shower today to find my front door open (so he knows how to unlock both the dead bolt and the door lock) I’m wrapped in a towel, and trying to stay behind the door as much as possible, I’m calling his name.
My neighbor, who drives truck, long haul, and who I never see… pulls up and notices me. He asked if everything was OK? I told him Dekeon had gotten out and I couldn’t see him. He offered to look for him while I got dressed.
Same day, but later that afternoon, Dek opens the door to let one of the cats out and he takes off too. I did have clothes on, and ran after him. He changes direction and runs into the house… and locks me out.
Good thing I had left the back door unlocked.
He tries to get out at night, saying he WANTS the boogie man to get him.
He has no fear, but scares the crap outta me with his antics.
He reminds me of my brothers, and my sister says he’s just like her twins (heaven help us all).
I WAS going to say, that my boys never did things like that, but, then, a memory pops into my head… We lived in Eastern Idaho, out in the country. There was a big canal that ran in front of our house.
I got out of the shower, dressed and went outside to check on the kids, only to find that my neighbors and people I didn’t know were busy fighting a fire on the other side of the canal so it wouldn’t jump over to our front yard.
My younger son and his friend had been playing with firecrackers. The firecrackers started the grasses on fire and instead of pouring water on the fire, they added lighter fluid… not too smart eh?
So, I guess I can’t say my kids never did things that scared me/drove me crazy/made me want to kill them…
I’m thinking… "Kiddy Cage" or "Kiddy Run" (think dog run for kids) or, hooking him up to one of those exercise machines that they put horses on that walk them around and around in circles… but, I’ll resize it and label it as the newest cure for obese, or ADD children… I think I’ll make a fortune! lol Well, maybe not…
As it goes now, he’s going to be doing "time out" till he’s 40! BIG HUGS, Steph  

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Litespreader
    Feb 29, 2008 @ 20:32:45

    That little stinker!!  I read a book once, and an old medicine man said that anyone with an uncontrollablechild should find the scariest looking guy they canfind, and pay them to talk to the kid.. scare the crapout of them so they will have reason to behave.  Maybeyou say that is too extreme, but if it\’s his own life youmight be saving, it seems like an option.  I guess I\’m just scary enough on my own… love,t


  2. Jade
    Mar 01, 2008 @ 05:58:06

    omg! he needs one of those zapping doggie collars…I read Rain\’s comment and all i could picture is the kid kicking the mean looking guy in the shin & making him cryLOL!


  3. Shari
    Mar 02, 2008 @ 11:50:05

    OMG Steph, you DO have your hands full!!
    I\’ll pray for your sanity.  (I like Jade\’s thing about the shock collar??) JK  Take care, Steph.  ~Hugs~


  4. Ms Noanie
    Mar 02, 2008 @ 11:52:52

    Hi Steph – thanks for remembering me!  And for the double laughs – first with your comment on my blog and then with your blog here.  Oh my your grandson is quite the handful isn\’t he?  I vote for the kid run, that way he\’ll get his exercise.  I also vote for wine and Percocet for you.  And I agree with Jade – your grandson sounds like he\’d scare the scary looking guy. 


  5. Jane
    Mar 03, 2008 @ 13:51:40

    I guess you could think of the little guy as your own personal trainer – he should certainly keep you exercised!


  6. KatSoup
    Mar 04, 2008 @ 13:21:47

    Ha ha ha  Got a playpen? turn that sucker upside down with him in it.


  7. Jane
    Mar 04, 2008 @ 22:03:14

    I think you have scarred me for life with your tales from the bowel side.  I guess, being the innocent that I am, I assumed THICK was good enough.  Who knew it had to be STRONG, too?


  8. DragonBoy
    Mar 05, 2008 @ 01:22:42

    Hey Hey Steph…. Too right about the gunk in the bottom of tea pots.  Everyone\’s complaining now that the tea tastes funny/it\’s not as strong as it used to be/it\’s a funny colour.  If it ain\’t broke, you don\’t fix it…
    And lamination is definitely the way to go.  Like the idea of Han Solo carbonite but last time i tried that, my winkle froze up and it took AGES to coax it back out of my body… sticking to heat to save any embarrassment on my behalf.  <<< is that too rude????  If it is I\’m too busy laughing for it to make any difference…
    As for your problem… BUNGEE ROPES!!!!!… make him think he\’s escaped and then watch the disappointment on the little critters face as he BOINGS back in the house again. Hours of fun to be had.
    DB xxx


  9. Greg
    Mar 05, 2008 @ 07:33:54

    Wow!!!The little guy is a rambler…How about a room with a security door with bars?He definitely is testing his boundaries.You all be safe and well,Greg


  10. Laoch
    Mar 05, 2008 @ 11:19:08

    I could picture things better if you included photos with your posts!


  11. Lola
    Mar 05, 2008 @ 19:45:43

    Although, I am sure,  it was scary at the time, it was a hysterical post to read.  🙂


  12. Gill.
    Mar 06, 2008 @ 02:43:51

    Hi Steph,
    It\’s ages since I heard from you just thought I would pop by to see how ya doing.
    Oh that was funny, fancy your grandson locking you out lol. But I can understand you were not laughing at the time, it would have been frightening. I childmind my two while my Steph is at work only 2 days a week but Billy is only 3 so he is not at that stage yet. It\’s not easy though eh!
    They say it keeps you young lol 🙂
    I am having 2 days peace and quiet as Stephs husband is off work with 2 broken ribs so I am not seeing any of them. I\’m enjoying the peace and quiet.
    Well apart from your grandson keeping you on the run I hope you are keeping well Steph.
    Love and big hugs Gill. x


  13. David
    Mar 06, 2008 @ 15:20:46

    How cool that the kid is not one of those fat wusses that weem to abound these days.  I wouldn\’t care how much he ran in and out, since I\’d be counting my blessings that he wasn\’t slumped like a retarded prawn in front of something electronic.  And you can always try locking the door after he\’s outside and taking a short nap.
    I am not surprised your neighbor noticed you. 
    May I suggest that you get an extra key and hide it a block away somewhere, so that if worse comes to worse, you can find it and get in, but because it is so far off, no one will guess it is for your house, if he or she finds it? 
    Do you suppose that both you and the kid will discover that the world is not all that scary?  Once you know that, the world\’s your oyster. 


  14. Raven
    Mar 08, 2008 @ 20:59:11

    Oh goodness, that left laughing with you AND at you!  Maybe a flip lock up high on the doors where you can reach them but he can\’t?
    Or an electrified fence?
    ps-I\’m ambidextrous, so being good with both hands is a skill MANY have enjoyed 😉


  15. Nooner™
    Mar 12, 2008 @ 08:34:42

    Hey Steph,
    Cancel your membership to the Gym and save that money…. You are getting enough exercise chasing your grandson around .. HaHaHa.


  16. Jim
    Mar 12, 2008 @ 08:36:27

    Hope you are doing better, since it has been a while I re-read your 101, I remembered the Italian cooking, I just love Italian, but really hard to come by in Arkey.  I also love Turkish food, but its impossible to get anywhere except Turkey.  My Turk would ask if I ate to live or did I live to eat, and I live to eat!!


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