A Love Story, deux times around…

 It’s too hot and I have too many things to do, so, I’m doing what some of my other blog friend’s have done and I’m re-posting an older blog. I hope you enjoy. BIG HUGS, Steph


A Love Story

 Normally I wouldn’t talk about someone else’s sex life… OK, I might think about it, but I don’t normally talk about it, if it’s someone else’s.
Bert isn’t around anymore though, so, I can tell his ‘sorted’ little secret and not fear any repercussions.
Bert was/is an older guy, and because of where he was living, he didn’t get any female companionship.
One spring, a ‘young lady’ caught his eye, and he went about courting then claiming her as his own. (OK, Bert is or was a Tortoise that lived in Bob and Becky’s backyard, someone has since stolen him, and my hope is they are taking good of care of him or that maybe they have a real female for him to be around.) LOL (See update on Bert below…)
 My friend Becky happened to be around to watch this timeless ‘dance’ of wooing and love. The first words out of her mouth, "Oh how disgusting". Her second words, as she grabbed a chair, were, "Go get the Camera".  lmao


  (Pssst, Bert’s Girlfriend is a slatted window box, turned upside down… but don’t tell him.)   OK, I admit I’m weird, but, I just can’t help laughing about it. Every spring when that flower box was brought out, he would hump it for all he was worth. MEN! lmao toooo funny!


Anyone who knows and reads Bob’s blog (RUSerious), knows who Bert is, and his story. For those who don’t… Bert was missing for about 3 years. They thought he had been tortoise napped or had died. Come to find out, he had been in hibernation for all that time under their house. A gentleman from the power company found him while he was under there doing some repairs.

He’s alive and doing better than ever! Bob and Becky were so happy to have him found and to know that he’s OK. I don’t think he’ll mind that I’ve told his ‘dirty’ secret.



14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lena
    Jul 08, 2007 @ 18:39:31

    Good evening.  I come to you via Nooner\’s space.  I saw your comment on your recurring nightmare of your teeth falling out.  I used to have those same nightmares.  Although dream analysts will tell you that nightmare is very common, and meanings range from subconscious vanity and pride, or worries of survival, it turned out that I had an underlying worry of powerlessness.   So, I divorced the source of that worry and haven\’t had the nightmare in over 12 years.  Go me!
    LOL @ Tortoise sperm.  I don\’t believe I\’ve ever seen it up close before.  Now I\’ll recognize it when I step in it.


  2. Litespreader
    Jul 08, 2007 @ 21:23:23

    Okay, this is just too weird, Stephie.  Yesterday, I went to your archives, and just \’happened\’to go to this blog.  I laughed so hard.. then I copied and pasted the link to it, and sent itvia email to my sisters, my daughter, and my best friend here…  Is there some way that you knew people were visiting the link to that blog??  I mean, logically?  Or are you my long,lost twin soul sister?  Hmmm.  Thinkin…   😉


  3. R U Serious
    Jul 08, 2007 @ 22:54:43

    What a cheap way to exploit poor Bert!!  LOL!!  Here\’s a poor guy, trapped under the house with NO food, NO water and NO lovin\’!!  But now he\’s FREE!!!  And making the most of it!!  LOL!!  I\’ll be pulling out his \’girlfriend\’ soon!!  But he actually wants YOU!!!!
    xoxo, Bob~


  4. DragonBoy
    Jul 09, 2007 @ 01:53:13

    Wotcha Steph… I have a bone to pick with you.  THAT  orgy was actually started by you I\’ll have you know.  Someone who shall reamin nameless (and in no way am i pointing in your direction here) came round to my gaff and PINCHED MY ASS!!!! Now to anyone reading this comment this could mean one of several things:
    1. You stole my donkey
    2. You pinched my donkey
    3. You stole my buttocks
    4. You pinched my buttocks
    Isn\’t language wonderful??? Anyway… for the record… it was number 4.  Everything cascaded into the scene you quite literally stumbled across on your last visit from there.  It was like rolling a snow ball down a mountain… And you were the original roller.  Picked up some snow and made it into a snow ball and then threw it down a mountain and walked away… and then came back once the whole ugly scene had unravelled.
    Psssht…  Anywho\’s… hope you had a fabbo weekend.DB


  5. Litespreader
    Jul 09, 2007 @ 08:54:18

    That is so cool, Steph.. I shouldn\’t be surprised.Another proof that we are all connected to eachother.. maybe you and I are that way a little more,because we have the same hearts.  I\’m glad. Love,t


  6. Jane
    Jul 09, 2007 @ 17:40:40

    What more could a guy ask for?  At least he won\’t have to find homes for a bunch of baby tortoises. 


  7. Leah
    Jul 09, 2007 @ 23:09:11

    ok Steph, tortoise sperm? GROSS! but hey Bert is alive yeah we can all do a happy dance.  LOL


  8. t i m
    Jul 10, 2007 @ 03:50:23

    I never knew tortoises were capable of self pleasuring until now. 😉


  9. ...
    Jul 10, 2007 @ 15:22:39

    Far 2 much detail re the sperm tyvm. But still laughed at this entry. I am a little unerved at the flowerbox situation also.
    Be safe


  10. Shari
    Jul 10, 2007 @ 15:31:13

    Hey Steph,
    I am LMAO, that was a funny story.  Poor Bert.  Hope you are doing good.  Have a great week


  11. Brad
    Jul 10, 2007 @ 18:17:14

       A happy belated 4th to you and yours as well 😉
    Yep, been too busy to \’blog\’ lately. Got a ton of stories to tell…just….no…..time….to ….write!
    So you got two new cats, huh? Hahaha. I am a sucker like that too. They are cute little fu*kers!!! heh heh heh…
    Yeah, it\’s hot here too, but not like in freakin Idaho, huh?
    So you say you went to the movies,….AND YOU DIDN\’T SEE TRANSFORMERS???!!!??? WHAAAAAA?????? OMG!!!
    Go see it.
    in a long time! That\’s for sure. I think you will like it. Like, there is this one scene, where the car robot turns into MEGA ROBOT with missle launchers and cannons for arms, and he is chasing Rosie O\’Donnells fat ass around a McDonalds parking lot, and she is spilling her french fries all over and screaming "Aaaaahhhh!!! Nooooooo!!!" and then….well, you\’ll see!!


  12. Jess
    Jul 10, 2007 @ 20:05:04

    LMFAO  I am dying at the sight of turtle sperm …and I kinda wanna laugh but I kinda wanna throw up …hhmmm weird ? Hahahahahaha !!!!
    Sunset Tan is on E! …it\’s a stupid show but I can\’t help it !


  13. TheSpeedofLife
    Jul 15, 2007 @ 22:11:35

    That\’s just wrong!!!  I can\’t believe you snapping pictures while the poor guy was trying to sow his oats LMFAO!!!!!!  I guess that\’s not any worse than my daughter\’s mating snail pic–remember that???  hahahaha


  14. Account
    Aug 03, 2007 @ 11:21:53

    Consiguele pareja a tu tortuga!! hehe! 


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