What the heck?

 I live in a very small town in Idaho, and since the Mill closed down, it’s been an economically depressed area.
So, when I see the way things have been going around here it makes me wonder.
First, my oldest daughter’s friends have been turning 16. Now I agree that’s a special age, and reason to celebrate, but, the trend of how they celebrate has me worried. Besides lavish gifts, it’s been, a Limo to pick up, in one case, 12 girls in another 6 girls. Take them to dinner over in Boise, to an under age dance club, then cold stone for ice cream, and home. The second was dinner in Boise, a movie, cruisin downtown Boise, dessert and home.
From what I understand, the rest of the girls all plan on doing something similar, which will include a limo.
Nothing like setting unrealistic expectations (at least for my daughters) I can’t afford an evening like that.
I was complaining about this to a few of my female cousins and found out from one, who recently moved from Utah, that the area she came from the latest "thing" to do for your daughter when she graduates High School is to give her a "boob job."
Have people gone totally mental? I can’t believe a parent would do this, and yet, it’s a common practice. SICK and Sad.
Yesterday was my youngest daughter’s class Valentine’s Day party. It’s always fun, she has a great group of friends in her class, and Seth… silly, goofy, Seth. He always has me laughing.
At the end of the party, one of the office aides came into the room to deliver Valentine’s Day presents. There were the usual balloons, flowers, tiny stuffed animals, but I was surprised that almost every child got something. Which was nice. Then there were the parents that went over board (well to my thinking) I mean a 5 plus foot stuffed teddy bear, plus flowers and balloons? Then there was a huge gift basket for one little girl (heck I was jealous!) LOL
Another one got a huge mylar balloon and a huge stuffed "worm" was what it kinda looked like, but it was in pinks and purples.
I love doing special things for my kids, but for heaven’s sake, these kids are 12!
I had a talk with my girls, and they seem to be pretty understanding about it. They know that’s not something we can afford to do, but that they are loved anyway.
Oh, to leave things on an "up" note. I’ve noticed that my youngest and her friends have a crush on a boy who works at the grocery store. I think he’s 16, and is the best friend of the oldest brother of my daughter’s best friend.
So, the other day after he helped us get our groceries loaded and had gone back into the store, I commented that he was a cutie. My daughter was shocked, "MOM!" lol I had to laugh because she was more shocked that I knew what a cute boy was more than anything. He is cute, you just wanna squish his little cheeks and tell him he’s a cutie. LOL  NO, I didn’t do that! lmao
Apparently (in my daughter’s mind) I’m an old lady who knows, or should know nothing about what’s cute or not.
Later she quietly says, Ash and I think he’s cute too. LMAO I said, Well, you girls have good taste, and left it at that. Kids, they are too funny.

20 Comments (+add yours?)

    Feb 15, 2007 @ 17:23:10

    Hi Steph , Thanks you for your visit and comment !!! Hawaii is amazing ! The ALFASURF song is "LE MONDE" Thevery Corporation-Mirror Conspiracy, i like very much to ! By
    Hawaiian Hugs ! ALOHA ! Good Vibrations !


  2. Litespreader
    Feb 16, 2007 @ 07:46:24

    wow.. hawaiian hugs you\’re gettin now..  about the limo and present scene..  i think that those parents feel inadequate unless they\’re breaking the bank to \’show\’ how much they care.  too sad.  people don\’t get that showing how much you care involves things that money cannot buy.  you get it, steph.  you don\’t have to spend money to do it, because you spend your time and energy doing it.   those memories last longer for your kids.  they will remember things like, the look on your face, or the sibling\’s faces, when thinking about special occasions.  or the feeling they had when you took them someplace fun, or the way the coke spewed out of someone\’s mouth and nose because they laughed so hard.  good job, girl.. 😉


  3. Leah
    Feb 16, 2007 @ 11:27:39

    you know as if you didn\’t know me already, but I got things based on how much my mom loved me on how much my gift was that year. (IE: Hawaii) granted at 27 I needed it and I was glad to go and I had a great time, but I can\’t say I can count on 5 fingers a time when my mom did things for me at school. She may have I just don\’t remember. I remember doing most of it cause I loved to cook and still do. So I agree with the person that said you have it right.


  4. Bob
    Feb 16, 2007 @ 17:33:14

    I\’m glad your girls understand that not everyone can \’keep up with the Jones\’ !!  I know how much love you give them and all of the sacrifices you make and I\’m sure that they do too!!!  Alot of the extravagent things that parents do for their kids are out of guilt and the rest are out of stupidity!! lol
    Now hands off the box boys at the market!!!  LOL!!
    xoxo   Bob~


  5. Nooner™
    Feb 16, 2007 @ 20:44:09

    lol @ ol\’ coyotes just get smarter with age … lol
    Good one, Steph .. lol.
    Kids are great. I loved how "later she quietly says ..". That\’s cute!!


  6. Aimee
    Feb 17, 2007 @ 08:48:59

    lol..i guess i felt the same way about my mom…i wonder if i have girls if they will feel the same about me??
    :o) smiles are contagious…so pass one to people that you love and those you don\’t…and soon everyone will be smiling… :o)


  7. Chipperla
    Feb 17, 2007 @ 18:46:47

    I have worked in public education for more years than I like to count and ihave noticed over the years that t is common for parents to give their daughters "boob jobs" after they graduate from High School.  That doesn\’t mean I understand it. 
    Sheesh…is it really worth it? 


  8. Unknown
    Feb 17, 2007 @ 19:45:26

    Steph – you are hilarious.  I love reading about your life 🙂  Thanks for sharing.


  9. David
    Feb 18, 2007 @ 05:51:36

    Steph – I really would not present the case to my daughters (were I you) that this will not happen for them because of finances – because that says deprivation and that this would be a wonderful thing if only we could afford it. I would present it (accurately) as not wishing to participate in vulgar ostentation.  This crap started in California, among parents who could not otherwise interrupt their own self-indulgence to raise kids properly, so they displayed their presumed, but non-existent, parenting impulses as one more self-indulgent means of proving their status.  My sister\’s kid was invited, more than 30 years ago in Orange County CA, to a kindergarten graduation that had rides, clowns and ponies.  A fellow (intelligent) parent murmurred in my sister\’s ear, "I wonder what the hell they\’ll do when she graduates high school?"  Of course the odds are they won\’t have to worry, since the kid will probably be in rehab then.  It depends on whether you want to raise kids who have character or kids who have fake boobs and air between their ears.  Would you be proud to be the parent of Nicole Ritchie?  One hopes not.  And you are on course not to be.  I hope your kids know how lucky they are to have a mom who has more than just money.  When I was in my surfing days, I met a lot of kids who were raised by those kinds of parents.  More than half are dead now, and many never saw 30.  Which left the parents free to spend more on themselves, as well as giving them a little drama to recite at cocktail parties.  I sometimes think it is a pitty that more of them don\’t react like the Menendez boys did – a double win for society since the boys are in jail and can\’t procreate and the parents aren\’t influencing anyone else.


  10. Jane
    Feb 18, 2007 @ 12:18:43

    Lucky you.  When I say something about any guy under 30 being cute, my daughter gives me that "Mom, sick!" business.  I am not sure if she thinks it is disloyal to her dad or that I am some sort of closet pedophile.  I can still look but I now I keep my observations to myself.
    I think David is so right about the disapproving.  Huh. I would have probably gone with the \’can\’t afford it\’ defense without even thinking about it.
    As for the boob jobs, it\’s true, it\’s true.  I work at a university and let\’s just say, there is a LOT more cleavage around campus than there was 10 years ago.  I\’m hoping my daughter will be happy with the bellybutton piercing she has planned for her 18th birthday (paid for by her).


  11. KatSoup
    Feb 18, 2007 @ 22:29:25

    You know I am freaking with all my nieces and nephews here.  My sister said "Oh they are very mature 4th grade is the new 6th grade"  HOLY COW.  it is hard to believe they are only 10.
    On the limo thing- heres an idea.  My next door neighbor is an Elvis impersonater and he has a limo.  He does not advertise but does a lot of driving for weddings and such.  Maybe think of a person or business that might have a limo driver (not necessarily in the rental business) who wants to make a few extra bucks on the side. 
    As far as fake boobs pfft – They\’ll be wanting a reduction in 10 years!


  12. Shari
    Feb 19, 2007 @ 12:01:10

    Hi Steph!
        I know what you mean about the lavish gifts and all.  A friend of mine did that with the limo for her daughter\’s 15th birthday party.  I thought it was cute, she had 6 of her friends with her.  But I don\’t know too many people that can do that for their kids.  I do agree with you, parents go overboard.  Valentines Day?  Is it suppose to be like Christmas?  Not in my opinion anyway.  I love doing for my kids too, but there is a limit as to what I feel is necessary.  Oh well, I guess we\’re in the same boat hey?  haha
        Too funny about the cute guy thing.  I know my kids get embarrassed when I make a big fuss whenever Kenny Chesney comes on TV or something!  Kids are funny.  Have a great week, and thanks again for your kind comments on my last couple of blogs.  Take care


  13. EdgyKay
    Feb 19, 2007 @ 17:13:00

    That DavidShag always steals my answers!
    Actually, I was going to suggest you do what I do: Watch "My Super Sweet Sixteen" on MTV. It typically features hateful, demanding, beyond-spoiled girls (although I have seen a few that had birthday BOYS), and my sons and I watch it, mainly to laugh at the painful selfishness and sense of entitlement these kids display, not to mention the appalling lack of respect and decency they show everyone around them (including the parents, who foot the $200K+ bill for these brats).
    We laugh, because it\’s sooooooooooooo ridiculously over-the-top, and even my shoulder-shrugging, this-is-so-dumb 13-year-old says things like "I wonder how many of those people even LIKE her?" or "God, I couldn\’t stand to be around someone like that!"
    Nothing screams "inadequate parenting skills" like the doting, materialistic adults on that show.
    You\’re a good mom.


  14. Jess
    Feb 19, 2007 @ 19:32:40

    Damn kids ! And their damn parents ! lol…I think when my kids graduate I\’ll my damn self a boob job !  then the next time a face lift…then lipo…damn with 5 kids I\’m gonna look HOT when they all graduate and move out !


  15. BH
    Feb 19, 2007 @ 20:10:32

    Once again, we parents are creating animals of entitlement.  I can\’t wait to start working with these spoiled punks in 10 years when they turn into crybabies at their performance reviews.  My boys certainly have a good life.  But we sure as hell try to instill responsibility as well as the importance of working towards goals.  Spoiled kids and their parents are some of my biggest pet peeves.  Parents that buy their girls plastic surgery should be shot.  It\’s sickening. 
    You better look out with that grocery boy.  He may think you\’re pretty damned cute and then you\’ll have all kinds of jealous drama with your daughter.  Of course, I have no idea why a young 16 year old boy would think a mom is hot.  I NEVER had any thoughts like that about my friend\’s hot moms when I was a horny teenager.  Rrrrrooowwrr!!!!


  16. Chipperla
    Feb 20, 2007 @ 14:45:18

    I\’ve never really understood the attraction for limos.  A couple of years back a friend of mine worked it out where a bunch of us rode to the Crescent City Classic 10K in a limo.  It was one of those deals where one person owed another a favor and the favor was called in with the limo.  We laughed that we were the "Rat Pack" and my wife was "Ann Margaret"! GRIN
    While we received many stares from people and one drunk female afterward told my wife, "He\’s a keeper", as she staggered by us standing by the limo, to me it was cramped and not a comfortable ride. 
    But, as you know, limos are the thing to young kids.  Times have definitely changed.


  17. Greg
    Feb 20, 2007 @ 19:43:50

    Oh to be young again.
    It is getting farther and farther away eh.
    Has spring arrived there yet?
    Time for the flowers to start blooming.
    May all be well in potato land, Greg


  18. Dwayne
    Feb 21, 2007 @ 17:26:26

    My kids got valentines but I didn\’t get a list of names so they didn\’t get any in return. They\’re in daycare and preschool…I think I\’m safe. Boob jobs huh? That\’s good parenting. I don\’t think I could sign off on a piercing or tattoo but kids have them. I\’m curious what little boys get for graduation.


  19. Litespreader
    Feb 22, 2007 @ 19:10:06

    hey steph..  everything okay with you?  just checkin.  love,t


  20. David
    Feb 27, 2007 @ 20:14:25

    As for un-realistic expectations. Don\’t get me started! I think all 16 year olds should be given a few days in Iraq, or somewhere similar for their birthday. Just to get their head on straight.


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