1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables
3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the
4. For high blood pressure sufferers – simply cut yourself
5. A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
In life, you only need two tools – WD-40 and Duct Tape.
a. If it doesn’t move but should, use the WD-40.
b. If it should not move but does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10.Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
Thought for the day:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES….. THEY ARE