Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it costs more the .75 per can — and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before
stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house.
Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die.
Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your \_/
spouse’s or partner’s plate. Bat it around \ .;=;. /
the floor until it goes under the –.’"-|-"’.–
refrigerator. Steal one small piece of /`-._|_.-‘\
chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other / | \
half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining /_/ | \_\
gourmet cat food from the can you opened ‘—-‘`^`’—-‘
Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.
Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into thehouse. Play toss and catch with
Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food- tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step in it as you leave. Track foot-prints across the entire room.
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse’s or
partner’s cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part
Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play
with it on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the
bird is seriously injured but .–.
not dead before you abandon __/ o ".
it for someone else to deal ` ), "-._
with. |;;, "-._
‘;;;,, ",_ "=-._
Dinner: Beg and cry until you ‘:;;;;,,..-“"-._`"-.
are given some ice cream or milk /`/` `’"`
in a bowl of your own. Take ///^\ jgs
three licks/laps and then turn
the bowl over on the floor.
Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a
collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor.
Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up
on your spouse’s or partner’s pillow.
Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night’s chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag
the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon it.
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry
and get hard.