Can you hear me now??

Monkey Business… These are posting’s from Mikey’s Blog, I’vegotstuffinmyhead, (he’s my daily stop for laughter) http://spaces.msn.com/ivegotstuffinmyhead/

He has such a funny sense of humor, don’t let his ‘good old boy’ humor fool ya, he’s intelligent and very talented!  I often think he’d fit right in with that Blue Collar Comedy Act.

I’ve posted his… What Men hear when their Woman speaks, and then he did his version of what a Woman hears when her Man speaks... I wasn’t quite sure he had this last one correct, so I did my version, and answered with some of the things I would think, but also with some things I’ve been told other Women are thinking… enjoy,(and yes we are both joking, teasing)  BIG HUGS, Steph

First Mikey’s Versions…

So, why is it that with guys everything comes down to sex. Yeah, a guy is finally admitting it, this is gonna cost me my membership in the Boy’s Club for sure. Ahhh, I always been a loner anyway, so heres a few examples of what really goes on inside the average mans head…
 
 
She says : Honey, will you help me set the table ?
 
He hears : Honey, wanna do me on the table ?
 
 
She says : Sweety, would you like to go shopping ?
 
He hears : Sweety, wanna do me in just my stockings ?
 
 
She says : Baby, the mail comes after 3:00 sometime !
 
He hears : Baby, we should have a 3some sometime !
 
 
She says : Could you carry this box upstairs ?
 
He hears : We could do it on the stairs ?
 
 
She says : Hey babe, wanna grab the groceries from the backseat ?
 
He hears : Hey babe, lets go play grab ass in the backseat ?
 
 
She says : Honey, can you come help me ?
 
He hears : Honey, come and do me ?
 
 
She says : So, whats on the tube ?
 
He hears : Wanna see my boobs ?
 
 
She says :Baby, We need a new apartment !
 
He hears : Baby, wanna munch my carpet ?
 
 
she says : I’ll be right back, I have to go to Piggly wiggly !
 
He hears : When I get back we’ll do the oinky boinky !
 
 
She says : Oh, how I hate my job !
 
He hears : How’d ya like a blow job ?
 
 
She says : Baby, I’m just gonna heat up some leftovers !
 
He hears : Baby, just come on and bend me over !
 
 
She says : Honey, I can’t believe how much we’re spending on gas !
 
He hears : Honey, come over here and spank my ass !
 
 
She says : I bought some new high heeled shoes !
 
He hears : I’m putting on my do me shoes !
 
 
She says : Does this dress make me look fat ?
 
He hears : Feel free to grab my ass !
 
 
She says : Honey, look what my mother shipped to me !
 
He hears : Honey, wanna come and slip it to me ?
 
 
I better keep the rest to myself, my wife is starting to figure out why I always have that stupid look on my face whenever she starts talking…
 
Whats that honey, do I wanna try doin it while hanging from the ceiling fan?
 
 
 
So, you didn’t think I would bust out on my home boy’s and not have something to say those people powered by estrogen, did ya ? Yeah pretty as they maybe, women do the same shit we do. Any woman who says they don’t is in deep denial…
 
 
He says : Oh baby, I had a terrible day !
 
She thinks : I wonder what this room would look like in an off white, with some teal curtians and matching pillows for the couch ?
 
 
He says : Honey, my back is killin me !
 
She thinks : Boy, that ceiling fan is dusty, I really must get up there and clean it !
 
 
Hey says : Baby, could you hand me that socket wrench ?
 
She thinks : If I get all the laundry done before lunch, I can relax until Oprah comes on at 4:00 p.m. !
 
 
He says : Oh baby, was it good for you ?
 
She thinks : Wow, the ceiling sure could use a new coat of paint, come to think of it, this whole room needs to be re-painted !
 
 
He says : Hey woman, are you listening to me ?
 
She thinks : Lets see, if we move the sofa over there and the love seat over here, that would open this room up so much more. Plus then I could buy new end tables and put a hanging lamp over in that corner !
 
 
He says : I’m through with your bullshit woman, I’m gonna find me a new woman !
 
She thinks : If your penis was a bit longer, you could find a whole new woman right here ! (sure, now she’s listening)
 
 
He says : Honey, hand me those needle nose pliers ?
 
She thinks : This toolbox is a mess, it would look so much better if everything was alphabetized !
 
 
He says : Baby, call 911, I cut my damn finger off !
 
She thinks : Speaking of phone calls, I wonder where my mother is, she usually calls by now ?
 
 
He says : Oh baby, that was the best ever !
 
She thinks : Did he say something, are we done already, maybe I can still catch the end of American Idol !
 
 
He says : Hey pretty mama, are we gonna do the oinky-boinky tonite ?
 
She thinks : Oinky-boinky, more like pinky-stinky and now I’m going to miss The Apprentice !
 
 
He says : This doesn’t taste as good as when my mother makes it !
 
She thinks : Your mother never had to put up with you pawing her breasts while she tried to make dinner either !
 
 
He says : Why do we have to get dressed up for church anyways !
 
She thinks : It’s a trick thought up by catholic women to get men to change their underwear once a week !
 
 
He says : Honey, have you seen my favorite T-shirt ?
 
She says : No dear I haven’t ! But thinks : It’s now a purple and green dust rag !
 
 
*** Note : Now of course I’m only guessing at this, but I do wonder why whenever I’m talking, she’s either staring at the furniture, the carpet or the walls. I don’t know what mens problem is concerning communication, but where women are concerned, I think it has something to do with either the weight of the breasts or the lack of a penis. But, as one of my favorite msn friends says "Thats Just My Opinion"…
 
 
 
M.Magyar
 
My Version, from the Woman’s perspective anyway…
 
 
He says : Oh baby, I had a terrible day !
 
She thinks : I guess now isn’t a good time to tell him that the roof just blew off, the tub fell threw the floor, the dog ran away, and HASMAT says, "You have a little problem".
 
 
He says : Honey, my back is killin me !
 
She thinks : Translation, He needs a back rub which will lead to sex… aw what the heck we’ll be finished before the commercial is over anyway…
 
 
Hey says : Baby, could you hand me that socket wrench ?
 
She thinks : It would help if I knew what a socket wrench was, why don’t they label these dang things?
That’s what I’ll do, make tools that have their names on it and we’ll be RICH, RICH, I tell ya… ummm what did you want again?
 
 
He says : Oh baby, was it good for you ?
 
She thinks : Wait a minute,… you’re  finished???????
 
 
He says : Hey woman, are you listening to me ?
 
She thinks : I wonder if there are any ingestable poison’s that they can’t detect? I should watch CSI more often…
 
 
He says : I’m through with your bullshit woman, I’m gonna find me a new woman !
 
She thinks : If your penis was a bit longer, wider, or lasted more than 30 seconds, you could find a whole new woman right here ! (sure, now she’s listening) (this one was too perfect, I just added to it!) LMAO
OR, Good luck on finding someone else who will put up with a Man who thinks it’s fun to wear a jock strap on his head, and yells, "There’s no need to fear Captain Jock Strap is here!"….
 
 
He says : Honey, hand me those needle nose pliers ?
 
She thinks : I can’t, I used them to hammer a nail into the wall the other day and I don’t remember where I left them…
 
 
He says : Baby, call 911, I cut my damn finger off !
 
She thinks : Drama Queen! (He has a hang nail!)
 
 
 
He says : Oh baby, that was the best ever !
 
She thinks : Wait a minute… you’re finished???? 
 
 
He says : Hey pretty mama, are we gonna do the oinky-boinky tonite ?
 
She thinks: oinky-boinky??? Well now, don’t I feel all special and rearin to go…?
 
 
He says : This doesn’t taste as good as when my mother makes it !
 
She thinks : I can arrange for you to live with your Mother and she can make it for you from now on!
 
 
He says : Why do we have to get dressed up for church anyways !
 
She thinks : It’s a trick thought up by women to get men to change their underwear once a week ! (and a darn good one too)
 
 
He says : Honey, have you seen my favorite T-shirt ?
 
She says : No dear I haven’t ! But thinks : It’s now a purple and green dust rag ! (this one was exactly
right!)
 

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    Apr 08, 2006 @ 14:50:23

    That was just toooo danged funny!!!!!!!  LMAO!!  I hope Mikey comes over and reads it!!!!  Big Hugs!!!
     
    xoxo  Bob~

    Reply

  2. Susan
    Apr 08, 2006 @ 18:42:02

    ROFLMAO…. those were grrrrrreat!!!  Loved the first one… " Oh baby, I had a terrible day ! —  I guess now isn\’t a good time to tell him that the roof just blew off, the tub fell threw the floor, the dog ran away, and HASMAT says, "You have a little problem". "  You guys are hilarious!!!  It\’s been a while since I came by, but I\’m really glad I did!  Have a great evening!
     
    Susan (Indigo)

    Reply

  3. Indigo-XX
    Apr 08, 2006 @ 20:06:25

    Yep, I found out this week that 3 oz. of antifreeze mixed into gatorade will poison a grown man within 24 hours.  Just sayin\’.😉

    Reply

  4. Panda♥princess
    Apr 08, 2006 @ 21:43:40

    OH!! Cat den~ so many pic of ur cat…envious of u..^^
    I only have a cat^^1year old..You can see it in my blog if u wanna^^
     
    Best wishies to u and ur cats^^
     
    PANDA

    Reply

  5. Litespreader
    Apr 09, 2006 @ 05:38:12

    this is so great, steph..  and pretty much why i\’m not married!

    Reply

  6. gary
    Apr 09, 2006 @ 07:02:14

    its not" pawing her breasts while she tried to make dinner " its protecting her heart from the heat & boiling water.. with no regard for the safety of my own hands.. hehehe nice lists.. bye
    Gary..

    Reply

  7. Unknown
    Apr 09, 2006 @ 10:54:55

    Kittycat,
    Now just how the hell did you get more comments on your version, I really need to start running my blogs by you before I post, It hasen\’t slipped my attention that you neglected to post the female version of this blog thouigh, co-inky-dink, I think not…  ha ha ha…  Mikey
     
    P.S. I bet you could have improved apon the wheel too, ha ha ha…  M.M.

    Reply

  8. Silver
    Apr 09, 2006 @ 14:31:22

    Hiya Steph! Hope you;ve had a nice weekend.. thanks for your comment, Libby says thanks too and she is ok now🙂
    The entry above was really funny and has be giggling.. I\’ll pop over to see your friend cos I see he is complaining you got more comments that him! lol
    Have a good week
    xx

    Reply

  9. _The_Gay_Dude
    Apr 09, 2006 @ 20:47:28

    hehehehehehheheh

    Reply

  10. bren
    Apr 10, 2006 @ 06:46:28

    loved the one about sending him to live with his mother!

    Reply

  11. DIXIE
    Apr 10, 2006 @ 12:14:29

    that\’s good stuff. right on :)  mars and venus are definitely farrrrr away from eachother :)  sorry there were no pics at my wet brief contest. you can check out my other adventures here http://www.myspace.com/corpswhore  see you later🙂

    Reply

  12. Jess
    Apr 10, 2006 @ 15:27:52

    VERY NICE MISSY !
     
    I am SO impressed !
     
    lmfao…
     
    Jess
    xoxo

    Reply

  13. Greg
    Apr 10, 2006 @ 16:04:40

    Well what do you know…I\’ve been busy and I come by for a visit and as normal…
     \’KittyCat\’ is being mischievous???
     
    Hmmm…You mean I really was not hearing correctly???
     
    I thought that was what I heard???

    Reply

  14. Sierra
    Apr 10, 2006 @ 17:16:50

    LMAO! Oh I love Mikey\’s space! He\’s always good for a good chuckle!

    Reply

  15. KatSoup
    Apr 10, 2006 @ 22:12:40

    hey my kid has been here.  I find him in the darndest places.
    I like your version MUCH better.
     
    That is so funny I use the wrong tool for nailing all the time. Russ and I laughed all the way through.  I guess you know which ones he agrees with.

    Reply

  16. Allissa
    Apr 11, 2006 @ 03:50:41

    Hehe…t shirt as a rag…they never seem to find out do they? I also like the "your finished?"
    We definitely needed some good girl representation! Thanks!
     
    aak

    Reply

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