Frustration and Anger

I find myself full of anger and frustration, and not really know what to do with it, so, I’m gonna blog. We are here on this Earth to help each other, love each other, at the very least be kind and civil. I know that’s not always the case, I’m not Miss Mary Sunshine, but, I like to hope, to think that most people are decent, and caring inside.
I know this goes on every day, otherwise AIDS and STDS wouldn’t be the problem they are, the epidemic they are, but this struck close to home, someone I have come to consider a friend.
How could a Woman who is a Nurse, have unprotected sex with a kind and special Man, knowing he was looking for a soul mate, for love in his life, all the time knowing that she had Herpes, and not tell him, until later, when it was too late? I guess she is on meds, and told him that she didn’t think she was contagious because she had no symptoms or outbreaks, but she was wrong in thinking that.
I will say, I really have no right to be angry about this, he has said that he’s not, but it really has upset me. What if she had AIDS, and how many people that do have AIDS act just this way? What gave her the right, what gives anyone the right to take someone else’s life in their hands, and to put it in danger? I know Herpes isn’t life threatening, but, there is no cure. I can’t help but think of how many innocent people have AIDS because of situations like this, because of an ignorant, selfish, uncaring person. Please, Please use condoms my friends. If this woman, who’s in the health care field can be so careless, then anyone can, and you can’t trust a person by looks or even by your heart. Please be smart, get tested, use condoms, and I hate to say it, but, don’t be trusting. Know for sure!
I’ve been very lucky that I’ve not had to lose anyone close to me, and I guess I’m bitching about this now because, I DON’T want to. Not now, not ever. Stay safe, you are loved. BIG HUGS, Steph

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    Apr 06, 2006 @ 23:28:11

    I agree 100%!!!!  Idiots who pass STD\’s on are selfish and stupid!!  And a nurse should know bwtter than any of us! And what if it HAD been AIDS??  Safe sex may be awkward and uncomfortable but it IS Safe!!
    xoxo  Bob~


  2. Harold
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 06:12:41

    I have to agree with ya my dear…
    There has even been cases where the people so inflicted by there unthinking partners that they sued them for damages.. and won. Being a nurse she should have known better than to think she wasnt contagious.. there is no such thing when it comes to herpes… she should KNOW that.. or get out of being a nurse n maybe become an undertaker. seems more her speed anyway. Aids .. wow.. dont even get me started on that one.. spread so much by people that just simply dont know or care. Safe sex is the only way to go… hell before to long people will have something bad enough that as soon as ya stick it in.. it starts to burn n melt off like it hit a acid bath.


  3. Leah
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 10:58:06

    wow that is inresponsibility


  4. EdgyKay
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 12:37:23

    Interesting, Steph. I have a dear, dear friend (Penicillin? From my embarrassing TV story?) who is HIV positive. She\’s still not sure how she contracted the virus, but knows that the possibility is there that it came from a "safe" partner. When she contacted him a few years later, after being diagnosed, he had full-blown AIDS. HER call had been to alert him to the fact that SHE had tested positive and wanted to advise him to get tested. He had NOT had the decency to do the same for her.
    The man was a semi-professional athlete, and chances are, he infected my friend. (She\’d also been to Africa back in the late \’80s on a mission trip, so that was also a possibility, she thought. Not that she\’d had sex there, or shared needles, but as you may know, AIDS is rampant in Africa.)
    Anyway, Penicillin is also extremely optimistic. She\’s not angry at the man or the disease. She\’s a remarkable woman, and I\’m mad FOR her. Because we live in an extremely small town, no one but her family and another friend and I know about her HIV. As much as we like to think otherwise, people would be heartless and cruel, as people are like that. So she takes her medications, fights her infections, and never, ever, ever complains.
    Condoms: good. Disease: bad. Deceitful people: don\’t get me started.
    Take care, and I\’ll keep your friend in my thoughts.


  5. wizswench
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 14:17:33

    does it get any scarier than this???  I don\’t think so…as a new single…the dating world is scary enough without this.  I am going to get tested AGAIN next week…am I paranoid? Maybe…I don\’t care.  Am I careless sometimes?  Yes, damn it…I am.  Am I hoping I haven\’t messed up my life yet?  You betcha. 
    She was soooo waaay wrong here..but it just goes to show AGAIN  the only person you can trust is YOU.
    I hope he is ok…and thank God, it wasn\’t HIV.  Damn…will we ALL have it before long???
    the terrified wench


  6. wizswench
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 14:18:47

    and I have lost a couple of very dear friends to AIDS…but I\’m not a gay man so I can\’t be at risk, can I?  (reminds me of those dumb ass PSA commercials)
    Prayers for your friend and Penicillin.


  7. David
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 14:22:29

    Acting unwisely sex-wise has nothing to do with what you know.  It has everything to do with who you are.  She said she thought she was not contagious – did she tell him that BEFORE (in which case it is as much his fault as hers) or after?  And has your friend been tested for AIDS?  (It shd be done about 6 weeks after possible exposure – so it hasd time to show up).  NO ONE with whom you are sleeping the first (few) time(s) is safe – they really might not know they are ill – some STDs are asymptomatic in some people.  If you MUST do it unprotected, go together to get tested first, and show each other the results – then be monogamous – or use protection.  People are so reluctant to change their ways that they have all these legends that keep them in denial – people you meet at \’nice\’ locations, or in small rural towns, or who are dressed well, or who are this or that can not be infected.  Pooh!  It is like the old legends in High School about not getting pregnant – if you do it standing up, or it can\’t get you pregnant the first time, etc.  Problem is, people don\’t go thru the old period of courtship where they fall in love BEFORE having sex, so many who are infected with things, are faced with telling folks who do not yet love them they are infected, giving the healthy partner the chance to already like them so much (s)he might stick around anyway.  Its a fast food instant gratification world – and that means instant death sentence too.   By the way, tell your friend that if he takes the cheap supplement L-Lysene daily it will reduce outbreaks to one or two a year, usually.


  8. Stephanie
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 15:18:05

    @Bob, safe sex means life. I know it shouldn\’t be, but to knowingly pass on an STD, just shocks and amazes me, where is reverence for life or compassion for others?
    @Zepp, leave it to you to make me laugh about an STD. Burn off huh? I doubt that would even stop some! lol
    @Leah, I agree
    @Kay, she\’s lucky to have you as her friend, and you are lucky to have her as one too. It\’s sad that she would need to keep something like that secret, she sounds like a very strong Woman.
    @Wench, please take care and be careful, and thanks for the prayers.
    @Dave, She didn\’t tell him anything until after having sex with him about 3 times, then weeks later she tells him. Her excuse, embarassment and that she didn\’t THINK she would be contageous, so, he had no idea. I know what you mean about those High School sex legends, so many get pregnant or an STD because of just plain stupid info, and believing it. I just have a hard time with it. If I had Herpes, or AIDS, anything, I don\’t care how embarassing it would be to tell someone, I would, period. It would hurt to have them turn away, but, at least I would know that I hadn\’t brought any harm to them. (My libido would be screaming bloody murder at me, but that\’s something I could live with, the other I coudln\’t) lol BIG HUGS, Steph


  9. Litespreader
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 16:19:03

    dear miss mary sunshine,  (at least that\’s how i think of you)..  your passion for the hurting people in this world
    touches my heart in a big way.  i think they were both in the wrong.  she, for not being honest, and he, for not
    being careful.   today, it\’s russian roulette to have unprotected sex.  it is extremely scary out there, and there are
    PLENTY of people who don\’t give a shit about themselves, or anyone they sleep with.     my ex-boyfriend of almost
    7 years gave me something.  treatable, not life-threatening, but gross and irritating.. and the treatment for it makes
    you sick.    i went to the dr, and told b/f about it.  he denied it, cussed, yelled at me, etc…
    the dr said i could have gotten it another way besides sex..  so, i stayed with him.  he even said he\’d gone to the dr,
    and gotten a clean bill of health.   the next time we had sex, there it was again.  he still yelled at me, cussed, etc…  that it wasn\’t him.
    i got treated again, and quit seeing him.. or anyone else.   two months later, i ran into him, and we got together again,
    after the \’i want you backs, and i\’m sorry\’s, and i haven\’t been with anyone else\’s\’…
    and yep, you guessed it..  there it was.  stupid me.  had to go through that sucky treatment… again.   
    i\’m lucky it wasn\’t something more serious.  it\’s been two years, but i still think about warning anyone he\’s with.. 


  10. Kadrin
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 18:23:16

    Watched part of the King Kong remake a couple nights ago, heck I just watched the Godzilla remake and cried, lol, good luck with the dell puter, my bro had a month of probs with their new one, now its fine, have a good weekend, hugs Blabby


  11. David
    Apr 07, 2006 @ 18:56:56

    i tell myself that love is the best protection…
    maybe i\’m wrong.
    how can somebody that truly loves somebody do something like that to him/her?
    it\’s beyond me.


  12. _The_Gay_Dude
    Apr 08, 2006 @ 04:14:05

    O Good Lord!  She should have told him.  It\’s being a responsible and caring adult.  But unfortunately because we are all human……it is up to both parties to ask questions……and not assume that a \’caring\’ partner is being forthright…….I go through this world assuming someone has the worst disease possible…..until proven otherwise!  It\’s cynical….but like I said…..we\’re human……sorry u r feeling so disillusioned 😦


  13. Stephanie
    Apr 08, 2006 @ 08:51:57

    @Marc, No I don\’t think you\’re being cynical, just smart, as this situation just proves. I admit, I am disillusioned, but, you\’re right, we are all human, heaven knows I am! lol Stay safe Marc, BIG HUGS, Steph


  14. KatSoup
    Apr 08, 2006 @ 09:26:59

    Hi !
    very good advice.
    one of my dearest friends has aids.  He says its sad but, he thinks of himself as a lethal weapon.
    whenever anyone is mean to me, he says "want me to bite em?" 
    You might think you know someone well enough, but this story proves you may not.


  15. SAAM
    Apr 09, 2006 @ 23:04:23

    I thnk DavidShag said it best.
    And thanks for being the great person that you are


  16. someone
    Apr 12, 2006 @ 21:00:18

    I am a female living with HIV.I can tell you this i am NOT having sex with anyone,because i will NOT risk someones life.I am one of those people who as a pozzie knows condoms can break and then what? Herpes or HIV does not matter you have the moral right to tell the person you have a STD.
    It is someone like her that gives all the rest of us a bad name.Drives me and my all HIV postive friends crazy when we hear this stuff.


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