Sunday thoughts

It’s a beautiful Sunday morning here. Yesterday started off going to my youngest daughter’s last volleyball game. Going to these games, and other sporting events where there are children playing, and supposed to be having fun, is usually uncomfortable and embarrassing for me, and it’s not because of the kids, but, the parents. I hate when parents yell and scream at their children during these games. Don’t they see it doesn’t help any, in fact seems to make things worse for the poor child, and just makes them look like a huge ass? Yesterday there was a couple behind me that kept yelling at their daughter if she made a mistake or her serve didn’t go over. These girls are 10-11 years old, sheesh. Then they were making loud comments about how the coach didn’t know what she was doing, and telling what they would do if coaching… shut UP already. Later I overheard this same couple talking to some friends of theirs, rehashing the game, and it comes up that, he, the husband has frequently volunteered to be a coach for the recreation district, but for some reason they always have more than enough coaches. Geeeee I wonder why? Personally I think we should be given baseball bats or maybe cattle prods, and be allowed to use them on any and all obnoxious parents at children’s sporting events. I know it would make me feel muuuuch better! ZZZZZZZZZZap! BIG HUGS, Steph

 

 

SENIOR PICKUP LINE
An elderly gentleman, in his mid 90’s, with hair well groomed,
a great looking suit, a flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a
very nice after shave, and presenting a well-cared-for image,
walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar, an elderly lady, mid 80’s, also well dressed and
attractive is sitting alone.
The gentleman walks over, sits down beside her, orders a drink,
takes a sip, turns to her and says….

"So tell me, do I come here often?"

 
Cat Rules
 

  BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom.  It is not necessary to do anything.  Just sit and stare.     DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room.  To get door open, stand on hind legs and  hammer with forepaws.  Once door is opened, it is not necessary  to use it.  After you have ordered  an "outside" door opened, stand halfway  in and out and think about several things.  This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.       CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly.  If you cannot manage in time, get to an  Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug,  shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet,  make sure you back up so it is as long  as a humans bare foot.         HAMPERING:  If one of your humans is engaged in  some activity and the other is idle,  stay with the busy one.  This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering."  Following are the rules for "hampering:" 1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. 2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book,unless you can lie  across the book itself. 3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much  of the work as possible or at least.  Pretend to doze, but every so often reach  out and slap the pencil or pen. 4) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on  the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.   5) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human’s lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.     WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially:  on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up  in the morning. This will help their  coordination skills.          BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night  so he/she cannot move around.             LITTER BOX: When using the litter box, be sure to kick  as much litter out of the box as possible.  Humans love the feel of kitty litter  between their toes.     HIDING: Every now and then, hide in a place  where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four  hours under any circumstances.  This will cause the humans to panic  (which they love) thinking that you  have run away or are lost.  Once you do come out, the humans will  cover you with love and kisses  and you will probably get a treat.         ONE LAST THOUGHT: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.

And don’t forget guests!  
 

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    Feb 12, 2006 @ 14:18:05

    Most of those parents were probably lousy atheletes when they were young!!  I vote for the cattle prod!!  LOVED the Cat Rules!!  LMAO!!!!!
     
    xxoo Bob

    Reply

  2. Jeanne-Marie
    Feb 12, 2006 @ 17:01:57

    Yeah, people do need to do something about the parents. Have you ever been in a chatroom with someone and then see something like : ljosja[j[kakap[kiapf And you wonder what? They tell you sorry it was their cats. Cats want to learn how to type do they not?

    Reply

  3. bren
    Feb 12, 2006 @ 18:29:50

    Well, ain\’t that the truth bout those sporting events – it\’s really a shame. The Mr. was telling me the other night when the \’cute little 16-year-old hardbody\’ was playing – that several of the parent\’s were kicked out of the game for getting so out of control over it. That should do it doncha think? At least til next time :-/ 

    Reply

  4. Greg
    Feb 12, 2006 @ 20:38:21

    You go Steph…Parents need to let their children enjoy the game and let the coaches coach.
     
    I think the world of sports as a whole has forgotten about…\’Sportsmanship\’
     
    Nice to stroll around the hood…Greg

    Reply

  5. Allissa
    Feb 13, 2006 @ 05:21:22

    This ras el hanut you speak of…I do not know spices… If you want me to check, I sure can. I hava an Indian friend of mine who I am sure would know what it is and if it exists here.
     
    I am sure I can get some stuff in bulk if I go to Zanzibar. I am not really sure, as I have said, I do not know cook stuff.
     
    aak
     
     

    Reply

  6. Allissa
    Feb 13, 2006 @ 07:38:28

    I forgot to mention…the cat rules is AWSOME!! I can not seem to watch the cartoon of the poo-ing cat enough!!
     
    aak

    Reply

  7. KatSoup
    Feb 13, 2006 @ 07:44:59

    Have you been talking to my cat!?
     
    I used to be team mom for Jons baseball years.  When parents would do that, I would yell louder – "Hey thats okay, good job" Then I would cut them a look like – Why must I  encourage your child!  I would also yell the loudest when they got a hit -"Yeah, good job, RUN, RUN,RUN!"
     
    Those are good memories.
     
    My tooth is getting a little better.  I miss SOLID FOOD.

    Reply

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