I hope your day is going great. I don’t really have anything to say, so, here’s a few jokes to hopefully make you smile and start your day off with a laugh. BIG HUGSSS, Steph
To love your fellow man is to know true joy. To get him out of the house before your spouse comes home is probably also a good thing. ======================================================================


I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately! ======================================================================

Be sure and read all the way to the bottom…..*smile*
How to say ‘I love you’ in 27 languages…..

I Love You 
Te Amo 
Je T’aime 
lch Liebe Dich 
Ai Shite Imasu  
 Phom rak khun  
 Ti amo
Wo Ai Ni  
Jag Alskar

North Carolina
South Carolina
West Virginia

parts of Florida

Nice Ass , Get in the truck


The Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here, then, are the glorious

First,  the No. 1  . . . . .

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked…..

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence,  sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago, returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.. $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of  Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m. , flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,  the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast.
The man, frustrated, walked away !!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had !!


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Greg
    Jan 29, 2006 @ 20:17:46

    I hate when people say I love you here in Missori…I\’m not a piece of meat!!!
    Did you know that this state slogan is…"The Show Me State"
    Hey girl…Can you send me your email address again…Thanks Kitty…Meow!!!


  2. Nikki
    Jan 29, 2006 @ 22:17:15

    Cracked me up!  I just love your blog.  Keep it up!


  3. Allissa
    Jan 30, 2006 @ 01:47:16

    Thanks. I need that today. Badly. Also some chocolate…


  4. Jeanne-Marie
    Jan 30, 2006 @ 02:16:11

    You sure do got a good sense of humor. *chuckles*


  5. Jim
    Jan 30, 2006 @ 10:09:49

    I\’m just meat, and glad.  I don\’t want to be taken serious!  I see that you are like me today, and really don\’t have to much to say, but I like that because that means all is well with out soul.


  6. Jess
    Jan 30, 2006 @ 13:56:31

    lmao….you forgot Nebraska !
    "Here put this bag on your head"
    "Bitch you look fine from the neck up!"
    …ok so that\’s from my husband…who thinks the whole "omaha beef" thing was started because of how many woman look here…he says they\’re fine looking until they get out of the car…then their ass and thighs make him realize that\’s what they meant when they said "omaha beef"….
    Oh and I have another one, but I\’m gonna blog it later !
    oh and shut it about me pushin\’ my sis…it was SUPPOSED to be funny…then the witch had to cry about it.


  7. Greg
    Jan 30, 2006 @ 15:45:47

    Whre\’s my KittyCat???
    Blessings – Greg


  8. CravingNatureGirl
    Jan 30, 2006 @ 21:46:32

    Oh, I do love that first valentine photo… mmmm… mmmm.. MMMMM…. That guy is HOT!!!  lol!  So, I just had  to come back and see him again!  🙂
    Hey, chickie!  Thanks for visiting my space!  I love your jokes – I sure needed a good laugh!
    Sending warm wishes your way…


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