Shopping with the “Divas”

I think enough time has passed, and the trauma lessened to an extent that I can write about this, and be somewhat objective… although I still have flashbacks, I’m thinking maybe, therapy????
My youngest daughter’s school has a "Buddy Day", she and her 2 bestfriends decided they would take the advice and all dress alike.
This is where my nightmare starts….
The only day they could all go shopping together was Sunday, one of the most crowded and traffic wise, horrific days of the week. Oh yeah, I was nominated to take them. (oh joy) Three girls, ages 10 and 11, two very tall blondes, one very petite hispanic with a pixie face, and they all want outfits to match. Size wise, I can already see a huge problem, little Ash is about half the size of my daughter and Jen, and height wise she comes to their shoulders. Lisa and Jen look like Amazon Women when Ash is standing with them.  Have I mentioned that each girl in her own right is a major Diva? I include my daughter, easily, she reminds me so much of my sister, she got the, Italian, "Drama" genes. They skipped me, and I spent most of growing up wondering what the big deal was all the time. I see now, dealing with my sister was training for dealing with my youngest!
Ok, on the drive over there, listening to Avril Lavene, and Kelly Clarkston, (over and over) (it’s about a 40 min drive), I was telling them they should just go to a store I know of that has thousands of t-shirts and all pick out the same shirt, then just wear blue jeans, etc.
I was informed that was NOT the plan, they want matching outfits and it has to be something nice. I took them to the store with the t-shirts, it has other clothing too, thing is, it’s mostly for older, (MUCH) older girls and is on the, what I would call, sleezy, hoochie mama, style of clothing. You guessed it, they LOVED it. They were in heaven looking at all the polyester, silky, sequins laden, belly showing, boob exposing, clothing.  I spent the whole time in there trying to get them to look at the t-shirts, and saying things like, "I don’t think that your Mother would want you wearing that" or "I think that is meant for someone much older" Or, "NO". (sigh) What saved me, they couldn’t find anything that they all agreed on and would fit all 3, because of huge difference in their sizes. After spending what seemed like 3 days in that store, (ok so it was maybe 2 hours) I was hungry and getting tired of their running up and down the isles and "OH what about this one"? and then the debates that came after. I suggested lunch and hopefully a meeting of the minds on what they wanted to actually buy.
I took them to an all you can eat place. It was Sunday and they have really good food. My real motive, I could sit and eat and they could get up and down, up and down, back and forth, back and forth, getting their own food and dessert. I was hoping to take the edge of that excess energy of theirs! Watching what they each chose to eat was kind of interesting. I know my daughter, she has her very few favorites and spends most of the time at the desserts bar. Ash, the smallest, (a good gust of wind, and she’s gone) ate dinner rolls and a little bit of steak,… off to the dessert bar. Jen had a couple plates of real food, but, like the others, back and forth to the dessert bar.  You know those rubber bouncing balls, you throw it and your never sure where it will end up but it just bounces wildly all over the place? I was watching 3 of them. (Is my eye starting to twitch?) Ok,  our late lunch over, I ask, where to? They all decide that Walmart will DEFINATELY have something they all will like, and can wear. Oh, joy of joys, off to Wally World. Did I mention it’s Sunday? We spend another 2 plus hours at a very crowded Walmart, and it’s beginning to look like there is nothing that they can all agree on or would fit all 3 if they do like it. Again they are drawn to the section with clothing that is too old for them, but, they just adore it! Finally I start saying, (if I even hear a hint that they might like it) grab those and lets try some stuff on! We end up at the dressing rooms with a mini mountain of dresses, skirts, shirts etc for each girl. OHHHH now they are really excited! Thank goodness they have a bench there, I can sit down! I think, but i’m not sure, the next hour or so was spent with them each trying things on, looking at themselves, looking at each other, and I heard things like, OH this brown one looks terrible on me, OH I like the brown one, That brown one looks so cute on you!  It does not look terrible! I need a bigger, I need a smaller size. etc etc. I look back on it now, I don’t think I was even there, much less listening.  I was sitting down, and in my own special "quiet place". LOL  They finally decided on a skirt, they all liked it… Problem # 1, it came in 3 colors, so, yep they had to try on all 3.  Problem # 2, of course each girl decided they liked a different color. I suggested going with that, it was the same style, so they would all be dressed the same. Nope, they all had to decide on one color. I went to my quiet place again.  Problem # 3, Ash was so much smaller than the other two, if they did decide on the one color, they weren’t sure there were the right sizes for everyone.  Somewhere in between me basking on a sun warmed beach and eyeing tanned, muscular Men, they all decided on the purple skirt, and I think I heard that each girl had a size that fit! I thought ALRIGHT! Then with that decided, they all scattered to find a shirt that would match and they would all like…. the torture, it never ends! I tried, I have a great eye for color etc. Nothing I showed them worked… I lost track of time. I went back and sat down, where was I, oh yeah, the beach.  Well they couldn’t find anything they liked, and they decided to go back to the first store we were at and get, T-SHIRTS! Gee, who said that would be a good idea??? OH YEAH , ME!
Knowing it was getting close to closing time, we head back to the other store. They look fondly at the, hoochie mama clothing, I steer them towards racks of plain little t-shirts, girl style ones. Then starts the ritual of trying on the t-shirts, and the comments that are of course a required part of said ritual. Ash was no problem to fit. The other two girls, well are more, healthy, and they make these t-shirts, some of them anyway for teens that like to have everything showing. It’s not flattering on an 11 yr old. They were having a great time, (translation) they were loud and running back and forth to the racks and dressing room. I had to tell Jen several times, NO, you need a bigger size. "But I like it tight"! Not that tight! Back and forth, loud, giggles, comments.. and it was closing time. The guy at the counter kept trying to catch my eye, I kept avoiding his. Finally we found sizes that would fit all, and then with the lights being turned off on us, they decide they want their shirts to have a saying printed on them!  I say, girls, that’s not gonna happen tonight, they are closed. Awwws and disappointment voiced. They kept asking, "Are you sure?" by then the guy was ready to throw us out! Ash says, (and this kills me) "I could give him my "puppy dog eyes.", and proceeds to show me.  Too funny, she’s 10 and already is thinking that way. Her Dad must be a sucker, and, young men, watch out for this one! lmao  Anyway, we barely manage to get the guy to let us buy the t-shirts and we leave. It’s dark and late. I’m soooo ready to head home and they are wondering if there is any place else that will imprint the shirts! NOOOOOOOOOO, um I mean, no, not tonight.
We head home, with  Avril and Kelly, and my daughter constantly switching from one track to another. I drop the other two girls off and head home. I arrive home about 9pm, quivering, twitching, massive headache, bloodshot eyes, (if anyone looks at me wrong, they will be sorry), and head to bed. Steph doesn’t live here anymore!

11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jim
    Nov 10, 2005 @ 12:26:05

    I don\’t go shopping! I go, I get, I leave. But I\’m back for my hugs and kisses, to much to pass up!Jim


  2. Tim
    Nov 10, 2005 @ 12:26:13

    Dear Heart,Thank you for sharing your traumatic experience. I know this must have been difficult to put into words, and I hope it was cathartic. I experienced your trauma vicariously, as I think about my 9-year old daughter, who often uses the \’puppy-dog eyes\’ on me (sometimes successfully), and I dread similar future experiences."Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Wal-Mart, I will fear no junior diva…."


  3. Tim
    Nov 10, 2005 @ 12:45:28

    Post Script: Sorry, no recipes from Bulgaria. BTW, I can\’t wait to get home and actually COOK after 18 months away!Caio,Tim


  4. Melissa
    Nov 10, 2005 @ 13:44:05

    Oh my! I can totally empathize with you here! I took my daughter (12) and her friend Matty (10-turning 11) out to dinner and a movie for Matty\’s birthday. My idea was why buy her junk to clog up her room when I can do soemthing we will all enjoy. Ummm WHAT was I thinking. I had this vision of a very grown-up dinner (assuming they were excited to eat at a semi-nice place and act a little mature) and a nice "chick-flick" that we could all enjoy together. What happened was drastically different…we ate at Chili\’s despite their inital requests for TACO BELL! Dinner was hellish…they ordered from the adult menu (usually E can knock off more food than me) and didn\’t eat anything but drank two milkshakes a piece. At the movie we saw "Must Love Dogs" of course I had to sit four rows behind them as they culdn\’t be seen with a parent!. They giggled and SPILLED popcorn like two-year olds until the movie started…wasn\’t the greatest plan on my part I shoulda bought her a CD and saved myself the drama and 75 dollars:D


  5. Gina
    Nov 10, 2005 @ 15:43:20

    I..uh…the….torture….can\’t. put. into. words. Sounds like an updated version of Dante\’s Inferno!! Wow, I\’m sweating right now after reading that. Anyways…I like the "Stripes" suggestion, duly noted.


  6. Alice
    Nov 10, 2005 @ 15:44:19

    I am totally rolling – I have 2 girls, 4 (almost 5) and 9.5 months – reading your blog was like a look into the future. OMG – I need to find out where I can buy some patience :)AL


  7. Indigo-XX
    Nov 10, 2005 @ 19:52:02

    YAY!! New background!! :)Yep, I\’m fortunate to have a son at times like this…we go to the mall, I drop him off at one end and we meet back up at a designated time. HA!


  8. Stephanie
    Nov 11, 2005 @ 09:40:39

    @JimLOL Isn\’t that just like a Man…. go, get, leave! lmao Just teasin! BIG HUGSSSSSSs and Kisses! Glad you\’re stickin around!@TimThank you so much for the sympathy! You have NO idea! lmao Actually you will, and soon! But from the sounds of it, your a big softy and will enjoy every minute! I\’m gonna remember and use that \’walmart\’ prayer, often!! lol As far as cooking and recipes, didn\’t I see something about Jambalaya on your blog…. I would LOVE a good recipe for that and Gumbo, spicy, spicy please! @MissyNow I\’m laughing, and sending you some sympathy! That all sounds soooo familiar, I\’m getting flashbacks! lmao I too have had to sit alone at a movie because it was just so uncool to sit with your Mom. One big plus, when they are making all the noise or running in and out for snacks, and throwing popcorn at the cute boys, I can sit and say, "OH, I\’m so glad those aren\’t MY kids!" lmao@MannyedYES, YES, exactly!! LMAO Aren\’t you thankful Manny can\’t, and doesnt\’ want to go shopping? LOL (She\’ll be excited you liked her name)@Alley Yes! Prepare now!! Smart, very smart! It\’s coming sooner than you think! LOL@IndiThe new background is in honor of YOU! Me liking purple was just serendipity! Yes, you are lucky to have a son! I started out with boys, so I wasn\’t really prepared, it\’s a whoooole different world, when it comes to shopping! lmao


  9. Mr.
    Nov 11, 2005 @ 11:58:38

    God Help me for the fact i have 2 girls, ages 7 and 4. I must set early guidelines such as 1) Daddy doesn\’t do shopping malls 2) daddy doesnt do shopping malls 3) even if mommy is sick in the hospital, daddy doesn\’t do shopping malls 4) if mommy gets really sick and doesn\’t come back from the hospital, daddy will find another mommy to take you to the shopping malls. Safeway with the kids is bad enough. I\’m already getting the "NExt Song" from my 7 year old and the "why don\’t you have I love Rock n Roll" from the 4 year old. I\’m not looking forward to when they start wearing thongs.Reggie


  10. Tim
    Nov 12, 2005 @ 00:09:44

    Steph,I wrote a poem for you. Goes something like this:How shall I let you know?With a… grope?Thanks! I haven\’t been groped (virtually) forEVER!You made my day,Tim


  11. EdgyKay
    Nov 13, 2005 @ 19:30:55

    Reason #4,297 that I\’m glad I had boys.They just punch each other and wear jeans. Very easy, indeed.


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