My friend Becky is throwing a baby shower this weekend. If ever any woman was a born caterer, it’s Becky. She is a great cook and loves to do things up with style. The shower is Sunday and Bob, her husband, has been told to make his ‘ball scratchin’ self scarce. No sneaking food or drinks, no messing up the pretty decorations. He has been warned! LOL Will that stop him?…. HECK no! (Cue music, Theme from Mission Impossible)
Your mission, should you accept, will be to infiltrate the baby shower, being held at your house, Bob, this Sunday. With the help of your team, you must fulfill your objective,… aquire, retrieve, and enjoy any and all food stuffs. It is imperative that you not be noticed by any of the guests. If you or any of your team is caught, we will disavow any knowledge of you and your team.
Your team members for this mission….
Buzz, aka "Stinky"
Bosco, aka "Muggsy"
and Bonnie, aka "Babs"
We have a ‘man’ on the inside; he will be your contact, his code name…. "The Claw"
When you reach your objective, contact, "The Claw" he will have further orders and instructions.
This tape will now self destruct….. or not….
Bob has been in training with his team, day and night, night and day… he says they are ready, we’ll have to take his word for it. The plan, as I know it, Sunday morning they will all lay low, keeping out of Becky’s way and lulling her into a false sense of security. (These guys are pros, don’t try this at home). Being a veteran of many skirmishes, and having the scars to prove it, Bob knows it’s best not to deploy your forces too early (he’s lost many a team member to a stray fork, or some over eager Grandma), take it from him, you DON’T wanna be between those ladies and Becky’s desserts! No, he waits until the first ‘feeding frenzy’ is over, the champagne is flowing, the conversation is bright and witty, they are relaxed and enjoying themselves… NOW is when he strikes! Timing is everything, he deploys his team…. Muggsy goes out, looking cute, and distracts the ladies… who can resist that face? Stinky guards the table, the wind is blowing in the direction of the guests, IF things go bad, he will use his ‘weapon’ (he’s not called "Stinky" for nothing). Buzz is a sweet dog, but has deadly gas. War isn’t pretty folks. Bonnie, aka, "Babs" is wearing a camo stealth model pack. Fully lined, in this years most fashionable colors… I digress. It has huge plastic lined pockets, she’s part of the recovery team. "The Claw" does what any good Cat does, he sits up on the fence and keeps an eye out. Ladies distracted, check, Table guarded, check. Bob, in a burst of speed almost unheard of in a man his size (about 6ft 2in) hits the table, and hits it hard. His hands are flying so fast it’s a blur. Bonnie’s pack is loaded, the all clear signal is given and as fast as they went in, they are out, leaving Becky’s guests to wonder if any of it was real or a food/alcohol induced trip. Well done, I say, Well done! Bob gets the chocolate pizza, and carmel apples. Stinky, Muggsy and Babs share curried chicken sandwiches, and Scamp, "the Claw" enjoys some smoked salmon, high above, on the fence. And the fun never ends! LOL
OK, OK, so what will really happen tomorrow? He’ll probably wait until they’re all drunk and grab what he can… hopefully Becky won’t hurt him too much! LMAO